Shower for Stacey

Lucky girl--you can't even tell she's pregnant in this picture!

Tye and Stacey are expecting their first child--such an exciting thing for them. But also a very new experience for them. At the shower on Saturday, guests furnished Stacey with such gifts as a foam bath support, Vaseline, layette nightgowns, big, muslin swaddling blankets, and several other items that needed some explaining for a first time mom. I thought about all the advice and instruction we were throwing out that day and realized it may have been totally overwhelming for my sweet sister-in-law (was it Stacey?) even though it was all meant to be helpful and save her from some of the stress a new mom can face.

I noted some of these tips as I drove home on Saturday and thought I'd share them again here (sprinkled with a few of my own):

Sleeping: 1) I put this at the very top because it is the #1 thing that has helped me with each of my new babies: infants should not be awake for more than 2 hours at a time (and sometimes this means they'll only be awake for an hour to 90 minutes before wanting to be asleep again--and awake time includes feeding time.) Now--at first, baby will sleep A LOT--like all the time. You won't even have to think about putting baby back to sleep because he will do it on his own--in any position, in any location, in anyone's arms, in the car, in the stroller, at the store...But after a few weeks have passed it won't be as easy and he'll fuss about it instead of just give in to it. It just helps to know that babies get sad about being tired and wanting to sleep just like they do about wanting to eat. I made the mistake of thinking baby Bentley must just be hungry (even though I'd just fed him) or have an upset tummy or gas when he was fussy but I think about 90% of the time he was just tired and needed to have a nap. Use the 90 minute to 2 hour rule to help gauge what baby needs.
2) Swaddle, swaddle, swaddle each time baby sleeps. Or lay him down on his tummy (but don't tell your doctor...:) Either way, it helps babies feel safe, secure and warm instead of overwhelmed by the vast space around them when they have been used to a snug, tight womb. I still swaddle miss Olivia every time she sleeps--it has become part of our sleeping routine from the very beginning and she knows to calm down and settle into sleep when she is all wrapped up with her binkie in.

Bathing: 1) Don't get baby's umbilical cord wet--just do sponge baths until the cord falls off.
2) Hold baby's arms against his chest while you bathe him--this will keep him warm but also keep him feeling safe and snug during bath time.
3) Wet and wash baby's hair as the very last thing so his head won't be wet and cold until you are almost done.
4) Wash baby's gums and tongue with a fresh washcloth during bath time.

Nursing: 1) Invest in at least 2 good nursing bras (meaning comfortable and supportive but not underwire which can cause clogged ducts--it's better to just stay away from them.)
2) Don't let the lactation nurses in the hospital freak you out. I know they mean well but they have a way of making their rules and ideas about nursing seem like the only things that will work. Take their advice with a grain of salt and see what works best for you and baby Mason. I had one lactation specialist tell me I had to nurse skin to skin so I should undress Bentley to his diaper and wear only my bra each time I was feeding him. Yeah right! Way too much work and not at all functional with my lifestyle. However, another nurse showed me how to rub Bentley's exposed ear if he fell asleep while eating and it would gently nudge him into sucking and drinking again. I still use this little gem of information as I nurse my 3rd child.
3) Use your new Boppy all the time. It's awesome for nursing and will save your back a lot of grief.

Asking for help: 1) Find a pediatrician that you like and can ask about anything--and do ask him/her anything and everything--that's what they are there for. Even better, try to find one in a practice where the doctors take turns being on-call so a doc can be reached at any time of day.
2) Call grandmas, sisters, sisters-in-law, or friends whenever you have parenting questions--we are happy to help or at least share our knowledge about car seats, diaper rash, temper tantrums, and so on :)

OK mommies out there--what am I forgetting? What would you add as advice?

My little sis wrote a similar entry last year about "new mommy must-haves"--she lists excellent items from sleep help books to clothing and even "mommy" needs like pads and nipple ointment. Hopefully we helped Stacey stock up on some of these things after Saturday's shower.