"[I do] not suggest that our challenges today are more severe than the challenges faced by those who have gone before us. They are just different. The Lord isn’t asking us to load up a handcart; He’s asking us to fortify our faith. He isn’t asking us to walk across a continent; He’s asking us to walk across the street to visit our neighbor. He isn’t asking us to give all of our worldly possessions to build a temple; He’s asking us to give of our means and our time despite the pressures of modern living to continue to build temples and then to attend regularly the temples already built. He isn’t asking us to die a martyr’s death; He’s asking us to live a disciple’s life."--Elder Ballard, Oct. 2008 Gen. Conf.
I posted these same words a while back but they are still a favorite of mine and so fitting for Pioneer Day. Every time I read these I feel a renewed focus and desire to truly "lead a disciple's life." For me it has a lot to do with the idea of "standing as a witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places." I have been thinking about that concept a lot lately and wondering how I can actually do that. It's hard.
I distinctly remember a brief moment during our Zion trip this spring when I lost my temper with Cares for a sec over something really stupid. Her hands were grabbing at my shirt while I was loading Olivia and all our gear back up into the backpack and I finally yanked them off me and told her to calm down and just wait for a sec--in that grumpy and annoyed mom voice of mine. Cares erupted in tears and I realized about 10 tourists had just witnessed our lovely little scene and probably thought "that is why I don't have my own children" or something smug like that...but at any rate, I thought all about that during our shuttle ride back down the canyon and felt so sad that I had reacted as I did. Had I been patient (that ever illusive trait) with Caroline we all would have come away from things differently--with happy hearts and a great end to our beautiful hike. Here I absolutely love motherhood and the fun I have with my young family and yet my actions spoke so differently in that telling exchange with Caroline. No one who saw that would know I love being a mom and raising my kids nor would they ever guess that on Sundays I stand with the YW in my ward and pledge to stand as a witness of my Savior at all times. I thought long and hard about what that statement really means and how everything plays a part--my attitude, my topics of conversation, my choices of entertainment, my appearance, and most certainly my actions. I make many choices daily because I love my Savior and I believe in obedience and keeping covenants I have made in the temple. But I am realizing that I need to make so many more choices based on my faith and my desire to be a true disciple. I think it will take me a lifetime, but I am trying.
4 comments:
Thanks Care I needed this tonight (when do I not need to be reminded of this though, honestly, all of us do, probably).
I do see how you try to be a disciple of Christ in your life in everything you do and maybe you are not perfect but you try and you are an example to me.
That was really sweet to read. I definitely feel like that sometimes too and it's nice to know I'm not the only one. I too strive to be more patient. I think it's a lifelong journey. I also really enjoyed the quote in the beginning.
You do a great job, Carrie. I watch your life and think of you as a fine disciple. The struggle is daily, and continues. I recall too many self-disappointing moments, and still have to try so hard to be the person I want to be. You are an inspiration to me. And your little ones are blessed to have you as their mother.
A beautiful way to start off my Sunday morning. Great thoughts and great quote and a great story. You are a wonderful mom and you are trying your best. You have happy, fun, sweet children and those are a result of a loving mother. We all beat ourselves up over the negatives but we need to let those negative moments become a force for us to do better. Another push in our resolve to improve. The patience and learning process will be lifelong but as long as we are moving forward, not regressing, we are on the right path. Love you so much Care.
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