Loving Memories

My sweet and loving grandma, whom I have always called “Tutu,” passed away 2 days ago. What I will remember and miss about her the most are her wonderfully solid and happy hugs. I could never see my Tutu without getting one of those great hugs, usually followed by her hands cradling my face and kissing my cheeks (even when I was an adult :) She was ninety years old when she passed and had been fighting many physical ailments for several years in her constantly weakening body—so it was her time to go and I am very grateful that her suffering has ended. She left behind the love of her life and husband of 70 years so my heart goes out to my dear Papa right now—I know he will feel lonely without her.

As I compiled pictures for my dad’s 60th birthday slideshow this winter, I found many wonderful pictures of Tutu as a young mom. I wish I could have known her as the 30-something mother of 5, raising my dad as the energetic, wild and playful kid that he was. I think my Tutu relished the role of motherhood and loved her children with a genuine adoration that continued to grow and grow throughout her life. My Tutu simply loved children and had a natural, tender way with them. I certainly felt that as her granddaughter and could see it when she held my babies as tiny infants and fell instantly in love with them.

With little Sherm and her older children, Charlotte and Emery

Tutu with my 3-month old Bentley in 2004

She was an incredible example to me of love, loyalty to her spouse, and sacrifice for her faith in serving as a mission president’s wife in Fiji when she could hardly bare the thought of leaving her home and beloved children and grandchildren for 3 years. She has taught me about patience and endurance through her physical suffering in recent years and also shown such humility. I have seen my Tutu love and nurture her dear grandchildren even as some struggled and pulled away from family—even as some caused her worry and sorrow. Her arms were always extended to them and ready to enfold them in her love. If they doubted in any way, she would not let it be over her love for them—she wanted us all to know that was a sure thing and would never change.

Tutu and Papa's growing posterity (I'm fairly sure this is Christmas, 1977)

My dear Tutu, I know you loved me and that you love me still. Thank you for being exactly yourself and for drawing us all in with your tender care. I want you to know that I remember every single time you came to see me dance and that I felt so proud to have you there knowing that is wasn’t always an easy effort for you. Thank you for raising such an amazing family and especially for bringing my dad into the world. He is so much like you with his gentle heart and abundance of love. Thank you for letting Heidi and me play with your darling porcelain mice and for letting all of us grandkids run rampant in your basement and on your Fiji bed as we played “Shark” and many other games. I have nothing but happy memories of times with you and Papa. I hope you know that I love you and will always keep a special place for you in my heart.