Sorrow in Death

I have cried a lot today. My heart is heavy and sad. But at the same time I am overwhelmed with feelings of love and gratitude. I attended a funeral this morning for Jared, Joseph's 32 year old cousin. I never really knew him all that well since he has lived away for many years but I know his siblings and parents well and see them often at LeBaron parties and family events. Jared left behind a wife and two children ages 3 and 1. In seeing all of them today and the hurt and pain they are dealing with, I couldn't help but feel so much sadness for them in losing their brother and son, and husband and daddy.

The service was so lovely. Johnny gave the family prayer before we went into the chapel and it was so touching--a sincere, pleading and tender communion with our Heavenly Father. My husband and his 4 brothers sang a beautiful medley combining Where Can I Turn for Peace, A Child's Prayer, and The Lord is My Shepherd. They were accompanied by the wonderful James Hebdon (a cousin on the other side of the family). Their voices and words were simply perfect and the spirit bore such strong witness as they sang of our Savior and His love for us. I watched those 5 brothers singing up there and I was filled with so much love for them. They are good, righteous men who are doing good things in their lives and the lives of their families. They were so willing to participate in the funeral and help in any way they could because they loved their cousin. They were very close while they were growing up and Jared even lived with the LeBarons for 6 months when he and Joseph (and Jim and Johnny) were all teenagers. It was tender and sweet to see my husband and his brothers sing, and weep, over the loss of their old friend.

The bishop shared a quote that I really liked in his closing remarks. He was talking about mourning and how it is a natural and good thing because it is essentially a display of love. He then said, "the only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life." It made me think of my own precious children and dear husband as well as my siblings and parents. My family isn't perfect and we certainly have our own issues but at the end of the day, I love them all so much and would be devastated to lose any of them knowing I could no longer see them and laugh with them and make memories together. That is what I will take with me today--a renewed love and appreciation for my beloved family. I am a lucky girl to have them.