A Care in the World

Ready and waiting for conference to begin so they could start filling out their BINGO games--a special prize handed out in primary last week. Believe me, they have been dying to use them ALL week. And then lost interest after exactly 1 talk (but at least Elder Eyring helped them fill-in plenty of spaces.)

This drooling darling slept for 90% of both sessions today (and is sleeping again now.) Poor thing came down with quite a cough on Thursday night. She's still such a sweetie and as happy as can be even though she's sick. In fact, you'd hardly know she's unwell--unless you are her mom and dad and get to wake up with her at precisely 3:00 am for a full-blown coughing fit. Those things scare me half to death...

And then there's General Conference itself. There is too much to say and my heart is full to brimming. What a glorious gift that is each fall and each spring. I felt like the very things I am trying so hard to do, to understand, to change, and to embrace were all discussed. At length even.

And because my sweet kids were so anxious and ready for conference to begin we just so happened to turn on the TV early and catch the very end of the Tabernacle Choir broadcast. The choir sang Come Thou Fount--a hymn I truly love. It was the perfect thing to hear this morning and opened my heart right up. I loved our conference weekend.

***This may get a bit cheesy. And I am sure it contains more than anyone would ever really want to know about my love for my husband. Just know I warned you. And that my Joseph read it last night and loved it. I think he really loves me back...

Today, Joseph and I have been married for 10 years. It has been an incredible ride so far. In honor of this milestone I have been thinking back over the past years at length--and realizing how my love has only grown stronger with each passing year.

Year: 1
Discovered that I love: Joseph's constant company

Our newlywed year consisted of living in a 500 sq. ft house in Pleasant Grove while attending BYU. Even though we had very full schedules, we snuck in time together whenever we could: sack lunches on campus, religion classes together, homework sessions up in his office, and of course our early morning and late night commutes to and from school. In typical newlywed fashion, it felt simply amazing to not say goodbye at the end of the day but rather go home to our tiny place together every single night. Heavenly.

"little house"

an NYC kiss after exactly 8 weeks of marriage

Year: 2
Rediscovered love: His voice

Joseph's voice (and songs he wrote and sang for me with that voice) was one of the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place--that's a no brainer :) But as seniors in college I realized it was my husband's last year to sing in scheduled performances so regularly (as a member of Vocal Point.) It made life crazy having so many singing engagements--usually 2 or 3 a week. But it was always a treat to sit in the audience and listen.

Joseph serenading me at the Sundance cabin

graduation day, April 2001

Year: 3
Discovered that I love: His work ethic.

When Joseph and I graduated from BYU we moved to Phoenix where I started a graduate program at ASU and he started working for a big design firm. We thought we were truly living the sweet life with a good income and cool apartment. But 6 weeks after settling into our new life, September 11th, 2001 happened. And Joseph lost his new job as his firm lost several, big NYC based accounts. I became an anxious wreck while my hubby calmly and meticulously applied for every design job he found and submitted portfolios to every design studio in the greater Phoenix area whether they were hiring or not. He picked up freelance work almost overnight and focused every effort on finding a steady job. After 2 weeks he had only been offered one job--one that included a steep pay cut from what he had been making and work he wasn't really thrilled about. It was still design but not at the quality he was used to in his previous design jobs. Being ever so responsible, he took the offer and went to work. It was not a happy time for my sweet husband--everything seemed to go wrong at that firm and he was constantly criticized for his ideas and vision. 6 months later he got a job offer from a place he had done freelance for in previous months. He was thrilled to have a new hire--especially because it was with his number 1 choice when he had interviewed before we even moved down (they weren't hiring at the time). Long story short--my husband is a hard worker. And I am very attracted to his ability and desire to provide for our family.

brand new Phoenix residents--at Tia Rosa of course--with our "adopted" child Ethan

Year: 4
Rediscovered love: His love for the Gospel

While living in Phoenix we had great opportunities for church service. We lived right in the heart of the city where our ward numbers were quite small even though the boundaries stretched on for miles and miles. We were put to work right away and my husband embraced it all. He was called as the ward mission leader and filled that role for 2 years--meaning he went out with the missionaries at least one night a week as they taught prospective members living in our ward boundaries. He took full advantage of the many opportunities he had to share the Gospel and bear his testimony--and often brought that experience into our home.

During this same time, my husband had 2 married brothers who were both facing enormous struggles in their marriages. His older brother got divorced shortly after our move to AZ and then his younger brother did the same about a year later. We were honestly shocked and very saddened by both events. We never expected it from siblings married in the temple. We tried to understand, to be supportive, to extend our love and friendship. But it was rough going there for a while--we felt disconnected from the family and confused at how things could've reached such low points in both marriages. My husband and I fasted and prayed over a united purpose more than we ever had. We shared our feelings, beliefs, goals and needs more than we ever had before--all in the hopes of growing closer together and helping each other stay focused on our goal of an eternal marriage. It was a defining year for us and one that really pulled us close together.

Year: 5
Discovered that I love: Him as a father.

This was the year sweet Bentley entered into our lives. And changed us completely by doing so. That change from "couple" to "family" was such a welcome one for us. We felt so lucky to create our own little boy and bring him into our family. From the very beginning my husband has been an a amazing father. I think it is a role he had been excited about filling his entire life. And he is good at it. Stern and in control when he needs to be, playful and silly most other times, and very gentle, loving and hands-on. I think he is really adoring this time in our lives--filled with our wild, busy, and incredibly fun kids on every front.

Christmas 2004 with our 7 month old Bentley

Year: 6
Rediscovered love: His humor

Joseph has always been quick-witted--made it very fun to date him (and flirt with him too) In recent years he has seemed to just get funnier. Maybe it's because we have a million and one inside jokes and memories to play off of. But he really makes me laugh and likes to tell me I am a "cheap date" because of it. I really am...

kicking it in the Virgin Islands

Year: 7
Rediscovered love: His artistry

He is a graphic designer after all. And very good at his craft. He has created
some of the coolest homemade gifts I have ever seen--both those he has made just for me and those he has made for members of our families. He is a Christmas card genius, birth announcement guru, and wedding invitation pro. I love his mind and the way he can think so creatively. He inspires me to think outside the box a little more often and to try new things--like green paint on an accent wall or typography as artwork.

adding to our family with baby Cares

Year: 8
Rediscovered love: His goodness

In recent years I have had some struggles--mostly having to do with my family and some hard things we have had to face. And I have leaned on my husband quite heavily for help in these areas. Time and time again when I am angry or upset he reminds me to have perspective--to see things from someone else's viewpoint and try to understand where they are coming from. When I have felt totally helpless and sincerely worried about those I love, he prays for them with me, listens to the words of my troubled heart and reminds me always to look to the Savior and seek out His comfort and guidance. He has steered my path a hundred times over to one of forgiveness, of love, and of simple friendship, and has helped heal wounds that would've grown worse without his aid.

Year: 9
Discovered love: His service to me

Joseph does a wonderful thing for me each morning. When Bentley wakes up--our 7:30 am riser--Joseph gets up with him and lets me stay in bed a little longer. This is a serious treat for me and he knows I dearly love those extra 30 or 40 minutes of sleep. My hubby also takes the big kids on play-dates when I need a nap, empties the dishwasher, and happily agrees to watch our children whenever I need a girls' night out or some pampering at the spa.

Year: 10

I am learning to love: Him. For exactly who he is. And I hope to keep on learning for years and years to come.

I feel like I am falling in love with Joseph all over again. I see him with our children and it really is my favorite sight. I love the family we have created together--just the two of us. And know that raising them, loving them and learning from that experience will always be at the center of our lives.

I love Joseph because he calms me when I am stressed. He makes me smile when I am frustrated. He listens to me when I have so very much to say. He holds me when I cry. He loves our children beyond measure and loves me in spite of my imperfections. He helps me to be a better mother, a better sister, and a better friend. He encourages me to take risks--especially when they involve reaching out to a suffering soul--and those are the very scariest kind of risks for me. I love him for all of this. And still can't believe how lucky I am to have found him. We took a huge leap together all those years ago and have been so blessed because of it. There is no one else I'd make this journey with.